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tpain

2008-11-11 22:23:15 by ArmorAll

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Above the ignorance

2008-07-08 23:18:38 by ArmorAll
Updated

AboveTheIgnorance
Go to it


Encounter with the 5-0

2008-06-20 15:09:02 by ArmorAll
Updated

I was at a party last night in my friends backyard, with like 30 other kids. People were drinking and playing BP, and me and 4 other kids were smoking a blunt. There is less than a 3rd of it left and i walked away to take a piss, so i handed it to the next person to smoke it.

When i come back, as im sitting down next to the kid with the blunt. I hear someone yell, and 5 under-cover cops run into the backyard. One of them says "dont you hate when the cops piss on your parade" (I think that was just stupid because it completely defeats the purpose of the expression).

They tell us to empty our pockets for any other weed (I was baked while this was happening). Luckly we packed the blunt with the last of what we had. They tell us to call our parents, and this one kid starts mouthing off to them. (the kid that was holding the blunt). My parents were not home and he was my ride. The cops tell the kid he can't give anyone a ride hom, so that pretty much fucks me over, because im high as hell and im a 2 hour walk away from my house.Luckly my other friends mom came and shes cool with us drinking, and i got a ride from her.

When i get home i get a call from my other friend. He was taking a piss behind the house in the woods when he hears the cops roll up. He dives into the woods and hes telling me how the cops were looking in the woods with flashlights, and how he lied down in the mud for almost 2 hours.
He was piss drunk and lives a couple blocks away from me, and had to walk home.

I havent talked to the girl whos house it was. Shes probably fucked.

I think im done with partys for this month...


One helluva day

2008-06-06 17:46:57 by ArmorAll
Updated

It was 7:30 A.M and I awoke to the sound of a muffled song playing from the radio. My window was open and I could feel a warm breeze, so I knew it was going to be a good day. I Get up and eat breakfast just like any usual day. I go and brush my teeth just like any usual day. But today did not feel usual. Something was un-usual.

I was already late for school so I jumped into the shower. It turned out somebody took a shower prior and the warm water was gone. I Skipped the shower, got dressed and left for school. On the walk to school I saw only one car pass. It was a van filled with five gangster looking guys and one of them seemed strangely familiar. They grilled me as they pass by slowly. I got to the school grounds and I saw children working hard and happily in the classrooms. Out of nowhere I hear a thump. Everything goes white, then black.

In my dream I am a famous rapper dubbed "Ridicolis". The name is a mix of the rappers Ludacris, and Fabolous. I'm on stage busting some hot rhymes, and the crowd is roaring. Whilst all this is happening, in the real world I was actually tied up somewhere in a warehouse in queens.
I regained consciousness and began opening my eyes. My sight was blurred so there were only shadows. There was talking in the background. The voices were faint but distinct. One of them was a deep voice with a thick New York accent. The other was not as deep and sounded like he was from the south. I had no idea who they were or what they wanted with me.

The ropes that were holding me were tight but I was able to loosen the ones around my arms. (I could rule out that they were boy-scouts). My vision started to return. There were four men sitting at a table rolling dice. They were the guys from the car I saw earlier. One looked back and saw that I freed my arms. He was an ugly looking dude. He had tattoos all over, and an ugly beard. He came over and was about to hit me when I heard one of the voices I mentioned before. In a deep, pissed off sounding way, I hear, "chill". I turn my head around and I hear myself say aloud... "Ooh snap".

Standing behind me is fiddy cent. The rapper. He pushes aside the ugly guy, and places his hand on my shoulder. I felt blessed. He began explaining what had happened, as he motioned to the ugly guy to remove the ropes. He said that he was forming a new rap group called the "Collective Rap Alliance Peoples" or CRAP, and was looking for the greatest rappers in the world. I asked what he wanted with me. He just smiled.

My heart stopped, and thoughts raced through my head. "Did he want me to be a rapper?" "Why did he knock me out and take me here?" "Why does he have such soft hands?" I was starstruck, and only able to say on thing... "Ooh snap".

He helped me out of the chair and brought me to his office. In the office was the famous southern rapper, Soulja Boy. I see Fiddy whisper something to him and they boy look pleased.
He pulls out a bunch of paperwork, and explains to me that to become a CRAPer I need to sign the contract and record a new hit single right here, right now.

We stepped into the next room. It was a studio with lots of expensive equipment. Right away, Fiddy pulls out a microphone and starts bustin' an ill beat. He looked at me and winked. I feel like this is the moment, and I began to rap an ill rap. Fiddy just watched in amazement, Soulja boy fainted, I stood there strong, and rapped one of the best songs ever.

As I finish, Fiddy walks over to me and shakes my hand. He says that he is humbled by my rapping ability, but he has an ominous tone to his voice. He grins as he walks with me back to the room where I awakened. I can see that the men playing cards had left and there was only me, Fiddy and the ugly guy. Fiddy stopped short out of my line of view view and said one more thing to me. "Thanks succa!". I quickly turned around to see Fiddy holding a 2 by 4. I felt the ugly guy grab a hold of me. Fiddy asks "Got anything to say?". All I can respond is "Ooh sna...". He plants the 2 by 4 directly onto my head before I could finish.

I awake again to find myself in front of my school and the time is around 4. I get up and walk home, beaten, bruised, and hurt on the inside. As I get home my mom yells at me for not calling telling her where I was going. I know she wouldn't believe me so I just walked into my room, and took a nap.
The contract that I signed gave Fiddy Cent all rights to the song and I couldn't do anything about it. My rapping career was over before it began, but at least the story will help me pass English. Fiddy Cent is always looking out for the children and their education.